My parents have a large window facing the street in front of their home. When we were growing up, we would tape a message cut out of Christmas wrapping paper: "Happy Birthday Jesus." Each letter was cut the size of one of the small windows, and when assembled, could be read from the street.
This year, my parents made a Thanksgiving decoration for the window. They put pictures of family members on each limb of the Thanksgiving tree.
This is a great idea for decorating your home for the holidays, either in a window, or on a wall in your home. Little ones can help with the cutting and taping of this project. You can use many different types of paper such as brown shipping paper, construction paper, tissue paper, or holiday wrapping paper to make your design.
For Christmas, you could do an idea similar to the Thanksgiving tree, using a Christmas tree and putting family pictures inside the presents under the tree.
Be creative this year, and involve the kiddos in some great family traditions!
I have often seen ads for zulily.com but never checked it out until recently. I was very pleasantly surprised and excited by the site. It is a site where you can find the latest deals on things for women, kids, and the home from a variety of different vendors. It is the type of site you check frequently, because the deals are only while supplies last, and the deals are for a limited time...usually about 3 days. The items are discounted from regular price and the shipping costs are low. You cannot return items, however, and you have to wait about 2 weeks to receive your purchases. They have you "sign-up" so you have a log in and password, that this "membership" is free.
However, given those stipulations, I love so many things about it, I had to make a list...
1. Variety of Vendors and Items
We live in a fairly small city, and there are limitations to the variety of stores located nearby. I tend to feel like I see the same things at all the stores. But on Zulily, there are so many different vendors and the items are very UNIQUE. In addition to having clothes, they also have toys, books, LEGOs, furniture, wall hangings, rugs, kitchen gadgets, boots, etc.
2. Variety of Sizes
You can get unique clothing, shoes, lingerie, etc. for a wide range of sizes. They have several plus sized vendors that have very nice clothing, of good quality, and a variety of styles (work, evening, lounge-wear, etc).
3. Good Quality
The items I have received from them are of good quality and material, much better than if I bought them at a local discount store.
4. Unique Categories: organic, gluten free/casein free, special needs
My son is in the autistic spectrum and he eats a gluten free/casein free diet to help manage his symptoms. In the last month that I have been monitoring the site, they have had an Enjoy Life event for gluten free, allergy friendly food; many clothing events that have used organic cotton; and even a "special needs" event where they sold compression shirts, vibrating cushions, and chewy toys for kids.
5. Latest Fashion and Toys
I was somewhat concerned that if these were "deals" they would be outdated clothing styles. The merchandise they offer is always up to date for fashion and relevancy. For example, they currently have many events carrying leggings, tunics, infinity scarves, and high boots for women.
Trees, lights, decorating cookies, shopping, visiting family, school vacation, wrapping and opening presents, singing traditional songs of the season, and church services...
The best things about the holidays, right?
We all have our favorite part of the holiday season. It usually comes wrapped with childhood memories of what was or what we wish had been. We try to recreate scenes from Christmas past. Capturing those great pictures of the kids for Christmas cards. Surprising people with gifts on Christmas morning. Visiting Santa and watching favorite Christmas movies on TV.
For children with special needs, all or most of the above may be very difficult and not enjoyable at all. My dreams for the season are often not my son's dreams. He is 7 years old and in the autistic spectrum. Every year, I'm surprised by how much he struggles during the holidays. Just this year, I spent some time crying at a coffee shop as I took a break from trying to cook for Thanksgiving.
As I try to regroup, these are my thoughts...
1. Anticipation and Surprise
For most of us, anticipation and surprise is what Christmas is all about. But for my son, anticipation feels like anxiety. He prefers to know what is coming. He likes a predictable schedule. He can seem "off" from before Halloween until after Christmas break. "Off" could look like meltdowns, crying at small things, wanting to be constantly close to a parent, or wanting to be isolated like under a "tent" in his room or behind a chair.
** One thing we have tried is to ask Joshua if he wants to know the "schedule for the day" even when school is out. This let's him know what unusual things may be in the schedule, or what usual things are cancelled because of the holidays. Sometimes we ask him if he wants to draw out or write out his schedule. Other times, he just wants to hear it. Here is an example of a visual schedule.
**Joshua wants to know what he is getting for Christmas ahead of time. Yesterday, he and I ordered his gift together over the internet. Now he feels good that he is getting something he will enjoy, but he doesn't have to manage that nervous energy until Christmas morning.
**You could also develop a social story like the ones at this link.
2. Crowds, Commotion, and Loud Noises
There is a lot more activity during the holidays than other times of year. Even at his "typical" activities like fencing and school, there are Christmas songs, concerts, and his school even takes all the kids to a store to buy toys for charity. These activities can be overwhelming because of the noise, scents, bumping, and bustling.
At any time of year, Joshua can be loud and physically active; however, sometimes this is most noticeable when he is actually overwhelmed. When he is crashing through the house and can't stop, I know he is having a hard time. There was a time when I thought he needed to "run off" this energy, but now I know that he most often needs help with calming during these times.
**He may need us to set up a quiet place like an indoor tent. He can go inside and watch videos or play an app on a tablet. Try these ideas for creating a cozy resting place.
**Deep pressure and proprioceptive input can be also be calming and centering. Try these sensory strategies OR these!
3. Diet
Holidays often have lots of treats, traditional dishes, and a deviation from normal diet. In addition, Joshua follows a gluten free, casein free (dairy) diet to help manage his autistic symptoms. Joshua typically does best when he has enough protein and very little simple sugar as well. We try to cook healthy and organic as much as we can, but still have treats for Joshua at every holiday and special occasion.
**Joshua eats a lot of healthy foods, but he often rejects new or unusual foods. Many of the traditional holiday foods are out of our typical routine (e.g., most of the Thanksgiving dishes). While I may be working very hard to make stuffing, gravy, etc. Joshua often wants his usual dishes. Or, he may ask for holiday dishes because other kids talk about them, but then often reject them when they are on his plate. This Thanksgiving, Joshua ate coconut milk ice cream and that was it. He rejected each of my Thanksgiving offerings. I have to just anticipate that he may want his usual foods; I need to choose which ones I will make in combination with a few holiday dishes for us.
**We try to really focus on protein and healthy eating, so sugar rushes don't add to his symptoms and struggle.
4. Little Bits at a Time
**We try to enjoy little bits of the holiday at a time. Our church holds Christmas service during the week before Christmas, so we are able to go to service and then not plan anything else that day.
**We don't have family in our area; rather than driving 8 hours to see family and stay in their home, we opt for a quieter holiday in our own familiar setting.
**We spread out his presents across multiple days, rather than opening all the presents Christmas morning in a flurry of craziness. So, he opens one large present on Christmas morning (of course he already knows what it is) and then across the following days, we dole the rest of the small presents over time.
5. Take Care of Ourselves
As I was crying in the coffee shop this year, I remembered that taking time to myself is really important. I can't do it without breaks and a chance to regroup. So I either need a to find a babysitter, a willing neighbor, or take turns with my husband to get out of the house and breathe.
This summer, I tried the recipe I found here:
Homemade Natural Lip Balm at ourbestbites.com.
And today...I just used the left over I had from that first batch, remelted it, and refilled my containers (12 tubes).
This is a must for the winter and year round. I used to buy other natural lip balms, but they were about $3 for one stick and rarely went on sale. Once you invest in the ingredients, these balms will last a long time and are easy to refill. And, they can be made in different scents and are great for gifts!
I got the beeswax pellets through Amazon and also ordered these tall slender tubes while I was at it. I already had coconut oil in the house, and did use Vitamin E but found it hard to squeeze into the batch. I used some oils I had in the house like peppermint. Although I did invest in the decorative tapes, the trick was to be able to make them stick with all the oil and balm on my hands!
Celebrating any holiday with special needs kids can feel overwhelming. There can be a lot of adrenaline and intensity at holiday times, unusual changes in diet, and noticeable disruption of routine. There is also usually a big enphasis on cultural specific ways of celebrating, some of which your child may be unable to participate in or tolerate.
Here are some Halloween tips:
1. Sensory Issues
If your child has sensory symptoms, pick a costume that makes sense for your specific child. Avoid things that are itchy, smell "funny", or are too tight. In contrast, maybe snug parts of a costume feel good to your child. A hat or turtleneck may help some kids feel more centered and secure. Having them carry a weighted backpack or some type of accessory with the costume that is heavy can also help kids feel calmer. Some kids might avoid face paint or masks, while others may like that feeling on their face. Do the best you can to select what makes sense for your child, and know that you will do your best to plan...and then be flexible when costume time comes if your child won't wear what you had picked out. Have some options in your head just in case... like plan B...C...and D.
2. Anxiety and Inflexibility
Try using social stories to prepare your child for the unusual things about the holiday. For example, what happens differently at school or home. If the child is old enough, have them write a story with you or tell you the story.
3. Extra Calming Times
Plan extra calming times into your routine a few weeks before and after the holiday. Maybe your child feels better when they can lay under a table with a heavy blanket and watch YouTube videos. Maybe they like to play LEGOs in their room with a dim light on.
4. Learn to Recognize what Behavior Means
For some reason, I'm usually surprised when my son has trouble before and during the holidays. Even this year...I was not expecting some of the behaviors that have "come out" such as anxiety, wanting to touch and climb on visitors, melting down if he loses a game. My son can also "lose his words." Although my son does talk, when he is under stress I hear myself saying more and more "use your words please" and "have you lost your words today?" My husband reminded me that we need to expect some changes before any holiday or change in routine (e.g. traveling, the beginning or end of school, etc).
5. Dietary Needs
My son follows a gluten free and casein free diet to help manage some of his autistic symptoms. We have a game now, that he goes trick or treating, brings back "a stash" and then he comes to my "candy store." I pretend to be a shop owner and he comes in wanting to trade some of the candy he can't eat, for other treats I have in my store. Then he has choices and can choose what he likes.
6. Be Flexible
Sometimes we have high expectations for any holiday and how it should look if it is "good." We might feel very disappointed if our child doesn't want to wear a costume or leave the house. Maybe our child prefers to hand out candy rather than going from house to house. Maybe they won't pose for a picture or meet their friends outside. Every holiday may be different...every year may be different. Take pictures when you can and build what memories you can, but let the rest go. Let it be good in it's own way. If your child wants to stay home and hand out candy, embrace it. If they just want to wear face paint but no costume, go for it.
7. Take Care of Yourself
As a parent, you are doing the best you can. Some other parents may give you advice or feel critical of your child for not looking and acting like everyone else on Halloween. Maybe your child is nonverbal or won't wear a costume. Maybe they can't choose a piece of candy from such a huge variety in a large bowl. It could be that they have trouble self-regulating and grab too much impulsively. Perhaps they melt down in front of others. Not everyone will understand, but some will. You may feel alone, but there are a whole community of parents out there who support and embrace you.
