Autism Spectrum: Your emotions overwhelm me!

Whether you are in relationship with a child or adult in the autism spectrum, you may not realize how sensitive they are to other peoples' emotions.  They may misinterpret them, make wrong conclusions about them, not understand where they come from or what they are called, but many individuals with ASD (autism spectrum disorder) experience them quite strongly.  

Consider this, have you ever had the experience of having something really bad happen to you, and many people run over to you and say how horrible it is, how sorry they are, and what can they do?  If so, you probably have a sense of how it feels to have trouble taking in and balancing emotional input from others.  You might think, "Oh great.  Now I have to deal with my own stress and sadness, as well as the sadness of other people!"  Or maybe you watched a sad movie on TV and you have trouble regulating all that emotional input from the program without feeling the impact for hours or days later.  It's a lot of emotion to "take in" and do something with. 

Individuals in the spectrum can be easily overwhelmed by the emotions of others.  If they are having a conversation with someone who is emotional, they may shut down or feel like leaving.  If their family members are fighting and crying, they are likely to feel a real struggle with this (maybe even moreso than the individuals in the argument).  If you are a spouse or parent interacting with these individuals about a difficult topic, they may miss much of the content of your communication because they are overwhelmed trying to regulate the emotion of it.  I recently spoke with someone with ASD who said, "This is so true... 200% true!!"

Here are some tips to recognize and overcome this barrier:

• Recognize that your need to get your emotions out may be just that... your need.  It may not serve the actual communication or help the person you are connecting with.  If it is your need, but overwhelming to the other person, find other ways to let your emotions out (e.g., journaling, exercising, bubble bath, music) while still communicating thought content to the other person.
• Recognize that adding emotional content to your communications DOES NOT make them more compelling to the other person, but rather decreases their effectiveness.  If you want to make sure you're getting your point across, decrease your emotional output rather than ramping it up for emphasis. 
• Commit to a calm home environment as part of the overall picture of helping your loved one balance their experiences (e.g., emotional, sensory, activity, etc). 
• Give the other person time to settle their emotions before talking through the emotional topic.  They may need space, quiet, and time before feeling ready to continue talking about something.  

Teaching Emotional Control Strategies to Kids with Autism

I recently wrote a blog entry about why losing games can be overwhelming to individuals in the autism spectrum.  Now for a few ideas about helping kids gain emotional control.  These strategies are one step toward calming and teaching emotional regulation.  Consider yourself and your child to be a detective about what helps in what types of situations. 

• Catching the Meltdown Before It Happens

It is often difficult for an individual in the spectrum to know how upset they are becoming or may become in certain situations.  As the parent of a young child, you may need to watch for signs and triggers ahead of time and teach your child more about his triggers and emotions.  You might say "You are angry right now" or "It has been a long day.  You need some quiet time."  You may pay attention to your child's schedule to make sure there are not too many difficult things in one day (e.g., don't schedule a school test and a dentist appointment the same day).  

It can be helpful to use pictures to help your child identify how he is feeling (e.g., he could point to green for good, yellow could be "watch out, getting stressed" and red could be "feeling completely overwhelmed").   
  

• Using Sensory Strategies for Calming

Once your child is overwhelmed, using verbal reasoning and requests is often very difficult and unsuccessful.  It is hard for her to think about how to comply with your commands (e.g., "Get a grip, it's not that bad" or "Stop crying, this is embarrassing).  It is also very difficult to attach words to the experience.  She is likely to be unable to verbally explain what is happening (e.g., "Why are you so upset!  What happened?").  Instead, you could use physical strategies that involve the senses to help her body calm.  Some strategies might include using deep pressure (e.g., bear hugs, pillow sandwiches with your child in between for a nice squeeze, or a weighted blanket), vestibular input (e.g., a ride in the car, being pushed in a swing), visual input (e.g., repetitive visual things like a lava lamp), auditory input (e.g., ear phones with nature sounds or favorite music), joint input (e.g., carrying something heavy, pulling on something), or smells (e.g., essential oils like lavender).  This can help with calming, even when the individual can't use thoughts or language.

• Time Out for Calming Instead of Punishment

You can teach the child that when they begin to feel overwhelmed, they may need to regroup in a quiet space before trying to solve the actual problem.  Having time away from chaos and strong emotions, can help him let go of some of the stress before interacting with others again.  Some separation can be initially helpful.  In fact, for individuals with ASD who are older, I have even seen people decide they do better speaking to others about difficult things using email rather than face to face.  If this is a strategy decided on ahead of time that actually helps introduce helpful distance and prevent loss of emotional control, it may be very helpful. 
  

• Have a Calming Strategy that you Practice Ahead of Time

Giving your child direction during a meltdown is often more overwhelming than calming.  However, if there is a calming strategy that the child knows about ahead of time, she can learn to use the strategies piece by piece.  For example, one strategy might be to use the breath for calming, like blowing bubbles or blowing LEGOs across the room with a straw (sometimes blowing out is more calming than deep breathing, especially for anxiety).  The individual may have a basket of things for calming (e.g., squeeze balls, ear phones with music, heavy blanket) or may have a binder with pictures of strategies in it (e.g., pictures of swinging or meditation) that they can then go and participate in.  

You will find that thinking about strategy rather than punishment is more effective and comfortable for you and your child!

Why Losing Can Lead to Meltdowns in Autism

All kids have trouble learning to lose with grace, but for children in the autism spectrum, losing can lead to an all out meltdown.  A meltdown is different from a tantrum in which the child is in control of his behavior but is acting out to achieve a goal or manipulate an outcome.  A meltdown is the moment at which someone is entirely overwhelmed by emotion and decompensates before your eyes.  The emotional moment may last a very long time; children with autism can take even hours to recover.  

Many children with ASD (autism spectrum disorders) have meltdowns in response to losing a game.  Why?  Here are several reasons:

•  Uncertainty:   Individuals in the spectrum often want things to be routine and predictable.  They have difficulty not knowing the outcome of something ahead of time.  For some kids, if there was a predictable pattern to winning and losing (e.g., I win then you win then I win...), the individual would do better.  But that is the point of the game for most people; the outcome is uncertain and captivates our attention.  What is going to happen?!  For the individual with ASD, the uncertainty is stressful.
• Concrete: Good vs Bad --Concrete thinking is common in the spectrum as well.  Your child may categorize everything into good or bad, or other black-and-white categories.  As my son was growing, he would ask the same thing of me ("Is that person a good guy or a bad guy" or "Is that a good word or a bad word").  It is difficult for your child to, on the one hand, know that winning is the object of a game (no matter what adults say to the contrary) and also realize she is either a winner or a loser, good or bad.  When she uses all her efforts to get into the "good" category and fails, this is overwhelming.  
• Fixed Beliefs --Many individuals in spectrum fixed beliefs that have no clear basis in reality.  They may firmly believe with all their being that something makes the team that is playing good or bad.  For example, they may be extremely attached to the blue uniforms of a team on television, and melt down if the blue team doesn't win.  I have heard some kids say, "I don't know why, but I just feel like it is really really important for the blue team to win."  It is common for people in the spectrum to be unable to distinguish what is "really important" and what is not. 

This leads us to the topic of Emotional Control.  You can think of emotional control as part of the overall concept of executive function which is impacted by the center and front of the brain.  For a good description of emotional control, see Dr Dawson and Guare's descriptions in their books at Smart but Scattered Kids.  Executive function is a significant difficulty for individuals in the spectrum, and emotional control is a big part of that challenge. 

People who have emotional control difficulties may have different manifestations.  In the presence of overwhelming situations,  they may:

• Shut down (withdraw, lose their words, freeze, be unable to act)
• Act Out, Explode, or Meltdown (pushing someone away, crying, yelling)
• Become very anxious (significant fear, worry, and upset)

Because they are less able to manage their own emotional and physical experiences, they often become overwhelmed by emotion and unable to function appropriately through the challenges.  

It is important to understand that, for these individuals, the difficulty managing emotion after losing a game has a neurologic base and cannot be generally managed hearing someone say "stop it" or "don't be a cry baby." 

Some ideas for managing these situations coming up in my next post!

Holding onto Treasure: Luke 2:51 devotion

Excerpt from Soul Cries devotional
*2013 National Indie Excellence Award Finalist*

Encounters

Luke 2:51 (The Message)

His mother held these things dearly, deep within herself.

In this scripture, Mary is described as soaking in all that she has heard and seen as she journeys with Joseph and Jesus through God’s plan. She has encountered an angel, interacted with shepherds, and seen wise men kneel before her as she held her small son Jesus. She has encountered Simeon and Anna in the temple and heard their blessings and prophetic declarations about identity and destiny. She has watched and listened to it all. She has soaked it in and kept it all deep within her heart. She would need it all in coming years, when her son would be beaten and crucified, and the hopeful future she had expected would seem dead.

In this life, we are invited to have encounters with God. There is great wisdom in treasuring these encounters and being a good steward of them in our hearts and minds by writing them down and calling them to mind. Each encounter is a gift to us. We should treat them all as treasures, golden and shining jewels. When God sees that you can receive an encounter, word, or promise and be able to steward it, He sees that you can steward more. Can we hold on to a word or promise for years and years, even when our circumstances seem the opposite? Are we able to hold on, steward, and treasure things deep in our hearts? Mary knew the importance of holding on to treasures and not letting them drop to the floor when “normal” life returns.

1. What has God given you that you have been able to steward for years, deep in your heart?

2. Have you had encounters with God, received words of encouragement, or had experiences that need to be resurrected in your heart and mind? How can you bring them to mind again and carry them in your heart today?

Nerf Birthday Party: 9 Year Old

When my son told me he wanted a nerf birthday party, I immediately began thinking of games and targets we could assemble around the house and yard to make it fun.  He then told me that he didn't want any of that... he just wanted to play nerf wars with his friends... no gimmicks!  OK.  But he also let me know that he wants the birthday to feel special and fun.  My assignment... to make a nerf party that was fun but not gimmicky!

I ended up ordering safety glasses for the shooters in a variety of colors.  I also printed out "target" symbols on colored paper stock, cut out the targets and arranged them on the gift bags and table.  The gift bags also included a bundle of "ammo" and "gunpowder (Pixi Stix candy)".

Then I bought some yellow streamers and put them around the house like Caution police tape.

We had an array of guns and ammo, and the kids also brought their own favorite nerf guns as well. The cake had 9 nerf bullets arranged like candles (I put a toothpick in the cake and then put the bullet on top of the toothpick so it would stand).

Such great kids and a great party!  It felt just "grown up" enough but still fun, festive, and ... just a little bit crazy.

Glimpses

Excerpt from Soul Cries devotional,

copyright Regan 2012

*2013 National Indie Excellence Award Finalist*

 

Glimpses

1 Chronicles 17:16-17 (The Message)

King David went in, took his place before God, and prayed: Who am I, my Master God, and what is my family, that you have brought me to this place in life? But that's nothing compared to what's coming, for you've also spoken of my family far into the future, given me a glimpse into tomorrow and looked on me, Master God, as a Somebody.

This passage makes me smile. How human David’s heart is as he shares his awe of God. He stands in awe of a God who is personal, intimate, and works for the good of His people. This God calls us into life with purpose and destiny. His words and plans propel us into the future. His gaze is on us; He sees us and knows us like no other. How incredible that we have a God who speaks over our families far into the future. Not only does God propel us forward with good purpose, but He also gives us glimpses into tomorrow. He looks on us and tells us who we are.

I pray over you right now, reader. I pray that you will have glimpses into the tomorrow of God. I pray that you will hear what He speaks over you, your children, and your family. I pray that His words over your future will fill you with faith, confidence, and awe. May you know who you are, truly, deeply, and eternally.

1. Have you heard God’s heartbeat over your family? Pray that God will speak to you about His heart for your household. Pray that you will hear and see His words of purpose concerning the future of your family.

2. Journal about a time when you heard God speak of your present or future. Did you see a glimpse of His plan? How did your feelings relate to David’s feelings of awe?

This Silent Night is a Holy Night

This Silent Night is a Holy Night:

 

 

I love meditating on these first 4 words of the wonderful Christmas carol. Silent night, Holy night. Sometimes, the wonderful, earth changing, forever breakthroughs come during a silent night. Think of the silence. So many people went about their daily lives, eating, working, sleeping, without knowing that eternity had broken through to earth and changed everything forever. The Messiah had come. Defeat was at death's door. Hundreds of years of praying for a Savior had brought a baby King. The silent night was a Holy night.

I pray into any silence that surrounds you. May your silent night be filled with Holy breakthrough, angels singing, a new Kingdom come to earth. The silence is filled with Holy plan and purpose, with promise and breakthrough. Nothing will ever be the same for you again...

Luke 2: 6-7 (The Voice)

While in Bethlehem, she went into labor and gave birth to her firstborn son. She wrapped the baby in a blanket and laid Him in a feeding trough because the inn had no room for them.

 

Hear the angels singing.....

What Does God Want To Be For You This Christmas

When I was growing up, I loved traditions at Christmas.  Lights, recipes, songs... all coming together into one magical experience.  As I grew, it was harder to bring every tradition into every Christmas season.  I remember one year, I went to Christmas service and the pastor spoke about letting this Christmas be what it is.  What is this Christmas to us?  Is it a mix of gift and grief?  Are we welcoming new things or saying goodbye to things passing?  

This year has been different, and I am re-deciding to let it be what it is.  We have had some illness, job stress, health issues... Is this what the people felt in Israel when Jesus was born?  

I am asking myself, "What does God want to be for me this Christmas?"  He is coming to be born into my life. Is He coming as my Amazing Counselor, Strong God, Eternal Father, or Prince of Wholeness?  I am asking Him.  I am inviting Him in.  I am letting Christmas be what it is this year... God is coming to the land of deep shadows.

Isaiah 9:1-7 (excerpts)

The Message (MSG)

A Child Has Been Born—for Us!

But there’ll be no darkness for those who were in trouble...The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light. For those who lived in a land of deep shadows—    light! sunbursts of light!...For a child has been born—for us! the gift of a son—for us! He’ll take over the running of the world.His names will be: Amazing Counselor, Strong God,Eternal Father,Prince of Wholeness. His ruling authority will grow,and there’ll be no limits to the wholeness he brings.

Motor Sequencing and Planning: Games for Kids

My 8 year old son has been in Occupational Therapy off and on for many years related to his autistic spectrum diagnosis.  One of the things he often works on is motor sequencing and motor planning.  This involves his ability to put multiple movements together without having to think of each step first.  This can be an area of difficulty in the spectrum, and for many individuals with other developmental conditions and features as well.

Instead of just doing exercises, it is fun to use games that require sequencing. 

Lately, we have been having fun with hopscotch:

We are in mid-winter here, so we actually are using the inside tile floors as a grid for our footwork.  We often don't play exactly by the traditional rules.  We may change up the order of the feet or the number of tiles in between the feet.  We may sing a rhyme while we do it, or try to name colors as we jump.  There are so many possibilities, and it is fun to have him involved in making up a sequence that we try next.

We have also started play hand clapping games:
Remember those good old games where you would chant or sing-song while clapping in a variety of sequences.  They are great for this skill, and can be made as simple or complex as needed. I have been remembering some oldies but goodies, and introducing my son to this style of game.

Here is a great website for ideas and rhymes.  Check it out!

Fun Clapping

And last but not least, stair hopping.

If you have carpeted stairs, try doing hopping sequences up and down the bottom stair.  For example, your child can try right foot up, left foot up, right foot down, left foot down (10 times).  If you have an older child, they may have the strength to hop up with both feet and down with both feet.  Then you can combine for extra difficulty: up with both, down with both, up with right, up with left, down with right, down with left, and repeat. 

Conflict Resolution: Bringing It Down A Notch

Everyone has their own way of dealing with conflict.  Some seem energized by the argument and love a good debate.  Others would rather slowly slink away and avoid the tension.  It is very difficult to stay in the middle of those two options in order to balance "staying" while still "working toward de-escalation."

This post is by no means the answer to conflict.  It is not the best advice for everyone and every situation.  But it is something in my toolkit that has been very helpful in interacting with upset or angry individuals in a variety of circumstances.


1. Verbalize the Emotion
Whether you are interacting with a child you parent or with an angry customer, it can be helpful to name their emotion, before you jump into problem solving.  For example, if you have an irate customer, it may be helpful to listen and then say "This has really been frustrating for you."  If you have a child who is stomping their feet, you may want to say "You REALLY want that toy.  It is so hard to wait." 

This accomplishes a few things.  First, it identifies their emotion if they don't realize what it is.  For adults, the person may be reacting to a difficult situation, without realize they are losing control or so irate.  Sometimes verbalizing the feeling let's them know how they impact you and also helps them know that their underlying struggle is identified and heard.  With a child who is just learning about emotions and self-control, you are teaching them what the word is for that emotion and how they could communicate it verbally rather than losing control. 

2. Bring the Word Down a Notch
Once you have identified a word for their emotion, you may wish to bring the word down to a somewhat calmer state.  For example, if the customer is irate, you may wish to say "You are very frustrated right now."  Very frustrated is somewhat calmer than irate, but not so far away from their emotion that they are apt to dismiss your comment.  If they continue to shout but perhaps are calming somewhat, you could say, "I see how upseting this has been.  Let me first address your concern about X."  So, you are now calling them upset, which is a step down from very frustrated. 


Will this help the situation all the time?  No.  Is this the only tool you should have at your disposal?  No.  But sometimes having some ideas for responding helps us avoid either pushing back (and making things worse) or slinking away (which makes things worse too!).

Work Morale: Random Acts of Kindness

After coming into a leadership position at work a year ago, I have tried to focus on work morale.  Some things I have tried have not really seemed to make an impact, while others have seemed fun for a short while but then died out. 

One of the challenges I was having, was activating the staff to take ownership of the work environment themselves, without having much of the focus and energy coming from myself. 

In October, we had an office "retreat" day where we focused on themes and projects that needed our attention as a group.  We usually have 1-2 retreats per year.  At this retreat, we worked on workplace culture.  We developed a culture statement that we have on our bulletin board.

One of the points of the culture statement has to do with generosity.  We talked about the importance of generosity defined as "We withhold no good thing from our patients, colleagues, and community."  We also talked about the value of people: "We recognize the value of individuals, a value that is separate from performance or behavior. People do not 'earn' value by performing with perfection."  This was important in our setting because we work in a highly regulated environment and had also spent quite a bit of time developing expectations for performance.  We needed to separate any thoughts that we value employees only because of "bottom line" issues. 

Random Acts of Kindness
One thing I challenged everyone to do in the office this year, is to do random acts of kindness for their colleagues.  I wanted these to be small acts that were "unearned" by any performance, and that were anonymous.  There would be no dynamic of needing to "repay" someone because they did something nice for you. 

Like some other ideas, I wasn't sure if this one would be embraced by the staff, or feel burdensome.  But, embrace it they have!  This idea has taken off like wildfire.  Not only are people feeling the impact of unexpected kindness, but it has stirred everyone's creativity and innovation.  Employees are thinking of inventive acts of kindness and also inventive ways to "deliver" their kindness.  For example, one employee came in early and used string to rig up a hanging gift for someone as they opened their door. 


What ideas have found successful in your workplace?

Holiday Home Decoration Idea: Kid Friendly

My parents have a large window facing the street in front of their home.  When we were growing up, we would tape a message cut out of Christmas wrapping paper: "Happy Birthday Jesus."  Each letter was cut the size of one of the small windows, and when assembled, could be read from the street.

This year, my parents made a Thanksgiving decoration for the window.  They put pictures of family members on each limb of the Thanksgiving tree. 


This is a great idea for decorating your home for the holidays, either in a window, or on a wall in your home.  Little ones can help with the cutting and taping of this project.  You can use many different types of paper such as brown shipping paper, construction paper, tissue paper, or holiday wrapping paper to make your design. 

For Christmas, you could do an idea similar to the Thanksgiving tree, using a Christmas tree and putting family pictures inside the presents under the tree. 

Be creative this year, and involve the kiddos in some great family traditions!

Not Alone: Devotional 1 Kings 19: 13-14, 18

Excerpt from Soul Cries devotional copyright 2012
*2013 National Indie Excellence Award Finalist*

Not Alone

1 Kings 19:13-14, 18 (The Message)

 

When Elijah heard the quiet voice, he muffled his face with his great cloak, went to the mouth of the cave, and stood there.

 (God) A quiet voice asked, “So Elijah, now tell me, what are you doing here?”

Elijah said it again, “I've been working my heart out for God, the God-of-the-Angel-Armies, because the people of Israel have abandoned your covenant, destroyed your places of worship, and murdered your prophets. I'm the only one left, and now they're trying to kill me.” …

(God) Meanwhile, I'm preserving for myself seven thousand souls: the knees that haven't bowed to the god Baal, the mouths that haven't kissed his image.”

 

Raising a child with specific needs can be isolating for so many reasons. You may be using all of your energy to find solutions, to problem-solve, and to make things better. You and your spouse may alternate responsibilities, or you may be a single parent, juggling everything on your own. Your resources may be drained. You may feel you are fighting a battle to set your child free, and you are not sure if you are winning.

 

Elijah felt the same way in the scripture above. He had just won a huge victory against four hundred fifty prophets of Baal. On top of that, a three-year drought was ended in a mighty way. But soon after these victories, he was exhausted from the fight and scared of the enemy. He explained to God how hard the fight had been and how little progress he felt had been made. He felt isolated, like the only one left who was fighting the good fight. He said, “I’m the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me.” He was exhausted, isolated, and drained…not sure of any progress. But God speaks the truth over his situation. God says that there are seven thousand others who are faithful to The Almighty who have not bowed to other gods. Those others were fighting the good fight too.

 

You are not alone. You are not the only one fighting the good fight for your children. We join you in prayer for breakthrough, for victory, for strength, and for courage. I know the cries of your heart, and I tell you that you are not alone. I pray that friends and community will surround you in practical ways every day.

 

1. Have you felt isolated in your struggle to help your child? How can you become more integrated with others who share your battle and heart?

 

2. God sees you and knows you. How can you embrace God’s heart for you today?

Using Technology to Create Social Stories for Children: Adobe Voice

In the past, I have written about using social stories to help children with autism or anxiety deal with apprehension about the unknown or future events.  My previous post was about a birthday party, but social stories can be created for your child about ANY theme such as starting school, night-time routine, going to the dentist, or traveling.  The stories can also be created to help kids learn a new skill such as how to say "I'm sorry" or how to introduce yourself to someone new.

I have recently discovered the free app by Adobe called Adobe Voice.  This app can be used to make stories come alive with icons, photographs, text, graphics, and music. 

Here is a link to the video I created about a birthday party: Birthday Social Story

In this story, I used icons, but you can insert pictures of the child's actual world.  For example, for a social story about the first day of school, you can take photos of the actual school, the teacher, the classroom, his/her bookbag, the school bus, etc and make a video story for your child to watch.   Your child can even help create the video themselves.  They could record their own voice talking about the pictures that are uploaded. 


What is your story?

Economic Office Decoration

I guess now that I have been at the same job for 15 years, I should make myself comfortable!  I decided to make my workspace a spot that I could feel more peaceful in, something warm and centering for me while I work. 

The tree decal I ordered from Amazon.com cost about $15 and arrived at my doorstep in two days.  I was thinking it would be a project to figure out how to use one (this was my first) and how to get it up on my walls.  It was super easy and took about 15 minutes.  They are also reuseable and can be re-arranged with some care as needed.

The nice thing about the decal set is that it was composed of separate pieces, so you can arrange the tree however you want.  The picture on the package looks like this:

I decided to wrap it around the room and was able to create the illusion (see above office picture) of the tree growing behind the wall separator.  I also made the branches cluster around the picture frame above.  The frame was a gift from my sister in law a few Christmas' ago.  It has "clothes pins" in each of the 9 frames so you can switch out picture.  I had family pictures up for a long time which was fun.  This time, I gathered pictures of certain colors and made collages of each color on my Pic Stitch app...

Then I saved the collage of each color (e.g., one for green, one for blue, etc) and I used my touchnote app to send myself a postcard of each collage. 

 

 

 

The postcards come on sturdy stock paper with a nice shine.  They do not curl or fold, and they hold up better than actual photo prints. 

Suddenly: Luke 5 (5-7) Devotional

 

 

 

Excerpt from Soul Cries devotional, copyright 2012
*2013 National Indie Excellence Award Finalist*

 

Suddenly

 

Luke 5:5-7 (The Message)

Simon said, “Master, we've been fishing hard all night and haven't caught even a minnow. But if you say so, I'll let out the nets.” It was no sooner said than done—a huge haul of fish, straining the nets past capacity. They waved to their partners in the other boat to come help them. They filled both boats, nearly swamping them with the catch.

 

When you are the parent of a child whose needs are complex and difficult, the days roll into months and years. The amount of effort can feel so tremendous compared to the amount of lasting gains. We may cry out to God, “We’ve been hard at it during this night season, and we haven’t caught even a minnow!” When Simon says this to Jesus, he has good reason. Simon is an expert fisherman; he runs a business and knows when and where to catch fish. He has come back exhausted and empty-handed, but Jesus tells him to go out again and put the nets in the water one more time. It seems futile to Peter and the fishermen with him, because they have been out there all night trying so hard and have come back so very exhausted.

 

Yet, when the Master says it, they do it. They know Him and trust Him. His word means something true to them. They have that kind of relationship, and “it was no sooner said than done!” Suddenly there is a breakthrough where there had been no breakthrough. Suddenly there is supply where there had been no supply. Suddenly there is abundance where there had been lack. “Suddenly,” after a long night of nothing, everything changed at the command of Jesus. Their “huge haul” of fish was surprising, abundant, and so heavy that it nearly sank the boats.

 

1. Beloved, have you been “fishing hard all night?” Have you done everything you know to do, but have come back exhausted and empty-handed? I pray that your heart will be open to unexpected wisdom from the Father. I pray that your hard night will turn “suddenly” into abundance and breakthrough!

 

2. How can you open your heart to hearing from God after such a long time of feeling empty-handed? In what ways can you strengthen your relationship with the Master so that you will go out and try again, trusting Him to be true to His Word?

How To Train Your Dragon: book series review

Am I the only one who didn't realize that the How to Train your Dragon stories were based on books!  My 8 year old son and I came across Cressida Cowell's book series at the library.  The first book was published in 2003 and there are currently 11 books published.  My son and I started with the 11th book (because that is what was at the library) How to Betray a Dragon's Hero, published in Sept 2013.  At the end of the book, the author notes that the 12th book is coming soon, and will be the final book in the series. Check out the book series website howtotrainyourdragonbooks.com.

I was so blown away by the book we read.  It was artfully done with skilled prose and pencil drawings.  The book moves alone quickly, and we always had a hard time stopping at the end of a chapter.  The 17th chapter, Sword Fight, was so wonderful, I took it to work and shared it with many friends.  It was all about what makes a hero, a king, a leader.  It was about hatred and forgiveness, and about identity and what choices we have when someone else has what we want. 

 

The books embody great character and morales, wonderful prose and illustrations, and the timeless epic tradition of books like the Narnia series and The Lord of the Rings.  Now, mind you, they are different in many respects too...but there is a journey across many lands, with multiple types of dragons, and the battle between good and evil.  The hero endures trials and overcomes obstacles, until he becomes more and more the king he was destined to be.

My son is 8 and is able to read the books alone, although I do think he misses a lot that way because of the vocabulary used.  He seems to get more out of it when we read together.  I love the books, so they are definitely appropriate for anyone about 3rd grade and older, depending on reading level and proficiency.

Lifelong Learning on the Web: A Review of Coursera

I just discovered the wonders of coursera.org.  This website offers over 650 free online courses from over 100 national and international sources including top universities like Princeton, Duke, University of Edinburgh, and more.

The courses span a range of topics including things like medicine, finance, history, art, food and education.  The courses are geared toward three groups of people: those who are lifelong learners and like to explore new topics, those who are students wanting to augment their learning in a particular area (e.g., astronomy, physics, statistics), and professionals who want to learn more in their field of study (e.g., how to teach character in the classroom).  Most of the courses are in English, although some are in different languages.

The courses run for a specific length of time, so not all courses are running simultaneously.  Most courses are about 6-8 weeks.  Each course estimates the amount of time commitment per week (e.g., usually about 4 hrs a week).  I tend to feel the estimates are on the long side. 

Coursera has an app that can be used for the course, although not all features are available on the app.  Some of the features that allow you to chat and discuss topics with other students in the class are not yet available on the app but are available at their full website.  Each week of the course, there will be videos available to watch in which the teacher is speaking right to the camera (not a far off shot from a large class in session).  The course is made just for coursera students.  Each video may be about 2 - 15 minutes in length and there may be 5-8 videos per week.  There may be extra links or readings suggested or available.  Then there is a weekly quiz in which you click an honor code button that you are doing your own work.  The quiz consists generally of 5-10 questions and is untimed.  You can typically retake the quiz 1-2 times and use your highest score. 

Many of the courses offer you a certificate of completion and there is an option to pay about $45 for a verified certificate if this is important to you. 

So whether you want to learn about new topics from your own home or want to supplement your schooling or career, check out coursera.org where learners learn for free. 

Into the Sea: Mark 11:22-24

Excerpt from Soul Cries devotional, Theresa Regan copyright 2012
*2013 National Indie Excellence Award Finalist*

Into the Sea

 

 

Mark 11:22-24 (Amplified Bible)

 

And Jesus, replying, said to them, Have faith in God [constantly]. Truly I tell you, whoever says to this mountain, Be lifted up and thrown into the sea! and does not doubt at all in his heart but believes that what he says will take place, it will be done for him. For this reason I am telling you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe (trust and be confident) that it is granted to you, and you will [get it].

 

 

Here, Jesus urges His followers to have faith in God constantly. He wants us to have an abiding and enduring faith that is rooted and grounded in our whole journey with God. What amazing words from Jesus—that mountains will be thrown into the sea at our command. We must live without doubt in our hearts, believing that our words can and will make things happen, change, and become rooted or uprooted. We must ask in prayer with belief, trust, and confidence that we will receive answers from God in His time. Sometimes it feels hard to make sense of these words. I pray that Jesus will reveal to you what He is urging you to believe. I pray that He will tell you about the life you are designed to live and embrace.

 

One thing seems certain. Jesus wants us not only to pray for what we need, but also to live with a posture of faith and belief. After the actual prayers are said, the posture in which we live is important. The spirit that we carry is important to God. Do we say a prayer and then live in worry? Do we brood and ruminate about all the possibilities, concerned about the outcome and timing of everything? Jesus says NO! We are to pray and then live expectantly, confidently, and in belief, faith, and trust. We can expect mountains to be removed and thrown into the sea! 

 

1. I pray that Jesus reveals more and more to your heart as you pray through this passage and make it your own. Pray through this scripture throughout the week and journal about what God reveals to you.

 

2. In what ways are you tempted to live in a posture of doubt or concern? What encourages you to live with faith and expectation in God’s power and goodness?

Why Beauty Glorifies God

This season, as I have been praying, I have found myself entranced by beauty.  The beauty of color, music, design, fabric, architecture, nature, smiles, photography, dance...  I have realized that in the past, I have believed that attention to beauty is at best "extra and unnecessary" and at worst "vain and self-consuming."  I'm sure attention to beauty can be all those things, but only in its perverted form. 

Real beauty honors and glorifies God, who is Himself beautiful on the throne, full of abundant goodness, and overflowing with kindness, gifts, and joy.  

Psalm 27:4 (The Message)
I'm asking God for one thing, only one thing: To live with Him in His house my whole life long.  I'll contemplate His beauty; I'll study at His feet. 

He is the God who is beautiful.  He is the Creator who spoke into being all things and declared them good. He is the God who gives us beauty for ashes, joy for mourning, and praise for heaviness (Isaiah 61).  

Can beauty be perverted?  Of course.  But when true beauty exists in our homes and communities, we glorify the God of beauty.  We cast aside the thoughts we harbor about our lack...and we praise our wonderful Father who withholds no good thing from us.